How to make Korean friends without feeling like a burden on their English
Table of Contents
- Navigating Korean Friendships: Bridging Language Gaps
- Understanding the Korean Cultural Landscape for Friendship
- Practical Strategies for Connecting with Koreans
- Leveraging Technology and Hobbies for Connection
- Building Deeper Connections: The Role of Jeong
- Overcoming Hesitations and Fostering Mutual Growth
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Embarking on the journey to make Korean friends, especially when navigating language differences, can feel like a delicate dance. This guide provides a roadmap, drawing on the latest insights and cultural nuances to help you forge genuine connections without making anyone feel like they're carrying the conversational load. You'll discover practical strategies that foster mutual understanding and respect.
Navigating Korean Friendships: Bridging Language Gaps
The global embrace of Korean culture, the "Hallyu" or Korean Wave, has undeniably created a more fertile ground for cross-cultural friendships. With a significant increase in international students and a growing awareness of multiculturalism in South Korea, opportunities for meaningful connections are abundant. Younger Koreans, in particular, often possess a keen interest in practicing their English, viewing it not just as an academic pursuit but as a valuable skill and a mark of global savvy. This mutual curiosity transforms potential language barriers into opportunities for reciprocal learning. Instead of viewing the English proficiency difference as a hurdle, consider it a bridge where both individuals can offer something unique. Your willingness to engage, even with limited Korean, demonstrates respect and genuine interest, which are universally appreciated qualities.
For instance, if you're interacting with a Korean peer who is actively improving their English, they might see your attempts to speak Korean as a sign of dedication, encouraging them to reciprocate by helping you with your language skills. This dynamic is common in universities and language exchange programs, where the exchange is often balanced. The sheer number of international students, exceeding 200,000 in Korean universities as of early 2023, highlights the diverse social fabric and the increased likelihood of encountering individuals eager to connect across cultures. While official English proficiency ratings for Korea often fall into the "moderate" category, the educational focus on English for many younger individuals means they have a foundational understanding, often eager to apply it in real-world conversations.
This enthusiasm for language practice is a significant factor in making friends. It shifts the focus from a one-sided burden to a shared activity. When you show that you are making an effort to learn Korean, even basic phrases, it signals respect for their language and culture, which can significantly deepen the initial connection. It’s about showing up with an open heart and a willingness to learn, which is a universal language in itself.
The key is to approach interactions with an open mind, recognizing that many Koreans are enthusiastic about practicing their English and learning about other cultures. This creates a naturally beneficial exchange, where both parties gain something valuable from the interaction. The growing acceptance of multiculturalism further supports this, making such cross-cultural friendships more common and accepted than ever before.
Language Exchange Dynamics
| Aspect | Description |
|---|---|
| Young Korean Interest | Eager to practice English with native speakers. |
| Mutual Benefit | Opportunity for both parties to improve language skills. |
| Cultural Exchange | Sharing insights into respective cultures and perspectives. |
| Appreciation of Effort | Genuine attempts to speak Korean are highly valued. |
Understanding the Korean Cultural Landscape for Friendship
To foster genuine friendships, an appreciation for Korean cultural etiquette is paramount. This understanding smooths interactions and demonstrates respect, which is the bedrock of any strong relationship. Greetings, for instance, often involve a slight bow, and handshakes, particularly the two-handed variation, signify politeness and consideration. When receiving items, using both hands conveys respect for the giver and the object. Maintaining a comfortable personal space is also important; while Koreans can be warm and affectionate within close circles, casual physical contact with new acquaintances is generally avoided, especially in public settings. This respect for personal boundaries is a key aspect of Korean social interaction.
The hierarchical nature of Korean society, where age and status play significant roles, also influences communication. Showing deference through respectful language and actions, particularly when first meeting someone older or in a senior position, is crucial. This doesn't mean you need to be overly formal, but an awareness of these dynamics helps navigate conversations smoothly. Patience is also a virtue when communicating, as Koreans may sometimes opt for indirectness to preserve harmony and avoid causing embarrassment or "losing face." Learning to interpret subtle cues and understanding that a direct "no" might not always be readily offered is part of developing cross-cultural communication skills.
An invitation into someone's home in Korea is often a significant gesture, indicating a deeper level of trust and intimacy. Homes are considered more personal spaces than in many Western cultures, so being welcomed into one signifies a genuine valuing of your presence and friendship. This offers a unique opportunity to experience Korean hospitality firsthand and deepen the bond you share. Understanding these cultural nuances helps to build a foundation of respect and mutual understanding, which is essential for moving beyond casual acquaintance to genuine friendship. It allows you to engage with Korean friends in a way that is sensitive to their cultural norms and values.
It is also beneficial to be mindful of the concept of "nunchi" (눈치), the subtle art of reading a situation and understanding others' feelings. While not something you can learn overnight, being observant and considerate of social cues will go a long way in building rapport. This awareness helps in navigating social dynamics gracefully and fosters a sense of comfortable connection. Recognizing these cultural intricacies will not only help you make friends but also build friendships that are resilient and meaningful.
Cultural Etiquette Snapshot
| Practice | Significance |
|---|---|
| Greetings | Slight bow, two-handed handshake for respect. |
| Personal Space | Value personal space; avoid excessive casual contact. |
| Hierarchy | Show respect for age and seniority in interactions. |
| Indirectness | Interpret subtle cues, avoid direct confrontation for harmony. |
| Home Invitations | Indicates deep trust and valuing of the friendship. |
Practical Strategies for Connecting with Koreans
Initiating friendships often feels like the biggest hurdle, especially when you're concerned about language. However, focusing on shared interests is a universally effective strategy. Participating in clubs, classes, or hobby groups provides natural conversation starters and common ground. Whether it's a hiking club, a cooking class, or a book group, engaging in activities you genuinely enjoy allows you to connect with like-minded individuals organically. During these activities, you can initiate conversations by commenting on the shared experience. For example, in a hiking club, you could say, "The view from here is amazing!" or ask about the trail difficulty. These simple icebreakers can lead to more in-depth conversations, regardless of language proficiency.
When interacting, don't be afraid to use basic Korean phrases. Simple greetings like "안녕하세요" (Annyeonghaseyo - Hello) or expressions of gratitude like "감사합니다" (Gamsahamnida - Thank you) are often met with warmth and appreciation. These small efforts signal your respect for their language and culture. If you know the person is interested in practicing English, you can politely ask, "영어를 할 줄 아세요?" (Yongoreul hal jul aseyo? - Do you speak English?) or suggest, "우리는 언어교환 합시다!" (Urineun eoneogw-eon hapsida! - Let's do a language exchange!). This directly addresses the language aspect and sets the stage for a mutually beneficial interaction. Many younger Koreans are enthusiastic about this kind of reciprocal learning, viewing it as a valuable way to improve their English skills while sharing their own culture.
Be prepared for a situation where you might need to switch between English and Korean, or use a mix of both. This is perfectly normal in intercultural communication. The goal is connection, not perfect fluency. If you're finding it challenging to express yourself, don't hesitate to use non-verbal cues, gestures, or even a translation app for quick assistance. The key is to be patient with yourself and with your new acquaintance. Building genuine connections takes time, and the effort you put into communicating, even imperfectly, is often more valued than flawless language skills.
Moreover, showing genuine interest in their culture beyond just language learning is highly appreciated. Ask about their favorite Korean foods, music, or traditions. This demonstrates that you value them as individuals and are interested in understanding their world. Such curiosity can lead to rich conversations and a deeper appreciation of Korean culture from both sides. The reciprocity in language exchange often means they'll be curious about your culture too, creating a well-rounded and engaging friendship.
Initiating Conversation Starters
| Scenario | Example Phrases |
|---|---|
| Meeting a Korean Person | "안녕하세요. 저는 [Your Name]입니다. 한국어를 배우고 있어요." (Hello. I am [Your Name]. I am learning Korean.) |
| Suggesting Language Exchange | "영어를 연습하고 싶으신가요? 저희 언어를 교환하면 어떨까요?" (Do you want to practice English? How about we exchange languages?) |
| In a Hobby Group | "이 활동 정말 재미있네요! 혹시 [related topic]에 대해 아시나요?" (This activity is really fun! Do you happen to know about [related topic]?) |
| Expressing Gratitude | "도와주셔서 정말 감사합니다. 덕분에 많이 배웠어요." (Thank you so much for your help. I learned a lot thanks to you.) |
Leveraging Technology and Hobbies for Connection
In today's interconnected world, technology offers powerful tools for forging friendships across linguistic divides. Language exchange applications like HelloTalk and Tandem have become incredibly popular and sophisticated, serving as virtual bridges for native speakers to connect. These platforms often integrate features such as built-in translation tools, correction capabilities, and even voice and video calls, making communication much more accessible. When using these apps, be clear about your intentions: you're looking for a friend and a language partner. Starting a conversation might involve introducing yourself and expressing your interest in Korean culture, for example: "한국 문화에 관심이 많아요. 한국 친구를 사귀고 싶어요." (Hanguk munhwa-e gwansim-i manh-ayo. Hanguk chingu-reul sagwi-go sip-eoyo. - I'm very interested in Korean culture. I want to make Korean friends.).
Beyond dedicated language apps, online communities focused on shared interests can be invaluable. Subreddits like r/Korean, or forums related to Korean dramas, K-pop, gaming, or even specific academic fields, provide spaces where you can engage with Koreans who share your passions. Participating actively in these communities, offering insights, and asking thoughtful questions can naturally lead to one-on-one interactions and potential friendships. These online spaces often have a more relaxed atmosphere, making it easier to overcome initial hesitations and engage in conversation.
The recent trend of interest-based meetups further amplifies these opportunities. Universities often organize intercultural events, and local communities may host gatherings centered around specific hobbies. Seeking out these events provides a low-pressure environment to meet people. If you attend a language exchange event, the purpose is already established, making it easier to strike up conversations. Simply asking, "Do you want to practice English?" or "Let's be language exchange partners!" can be a direct and effective way to initiate connection. The key is to be proactive and to utilize the resources available to you, both online and offline.
When engaging with potential friends online or through apps, remember to be consistent and engaging. Respond to messages promptly (within reason) and show genuine interest in their replies. The more you interact, the more comfortable both parties will become, and the deeper the potential connection. Think of these platforms as digital extensions of the real-world strategies: find common ground, show respect, and be open to learning.
Digital Connection Tools
| Tool/Platform | Purpose and Benefits |
|---|---|
| Language Exchange Apps (HelloTalk, Tandem) | Connects language learners with native speakers; built-in translation and correction features. |
| Online Communities (Reddit, Forums) | Find people with shared interests; engage in discussions and form bonds. |
| Interest-Based Meetups | Provides real-world interaction based on shared hobbies or activities. |
| Social Media Groups | Connect with Koreans who share similar hobbies or affiliations. |
Building Deeper Connections: The Role of Jeong
The concept of "Jeong" (정) is central to understanding the depth of Korean friendships. It's a complex emotional bond that transcends mere acquaintance, representing a unique blend of affection, attachment, and loyalty that develops over time. Building Jeong isn't about grand gestures, but rather consistent care, shared experiences, and mutual support. It's the feeling that grows when you've gone through significant moments together, celebrated joys, and supported each other through challenges. This deep connection means friends often become like family, a cornerstone of Korean social relationships.
Cultivating Jeong requires patience and a genuine commitment to nurturing the relationship. It's about being there for your friends, showing up when they need you, and sharing parts of your life with them. This might involve simple acts like sharing a meal, checking in regularly, or offering help when it's needed. As you spend more time together, engage in deeper conversations, and become more vulnerable, Jeong begins to form. This is where the effort you've put into learning Korean and understanding their culture truly pays off, as it allows for more meaningful and intimate communication.
Consider the analogy of a plant: Jeong needs consistent watering (communication and presence) and sunlight (shared positive experiences) to grow. It cannot be rushed or forced; it develops organically through shared time and mutual trust. When you show up for your Korean friends, not just in good times but also in difficult ones, you are laying the groundwork for this deep emotional bond. This might mean being present at important events, offering a listening ear during stressful periods, or simply being a reliable source of support. The strength of Korean friendships often lies in this profound sense of connection and mutual reliance.
The cultural emphasis on group harmony and collective well-being also plays a role in how Jeong manifests. It's about feeling a sense of belonging and interconnectedness. When you're part of a Korean friend group, you're often integrated into a larger support system. This feeling of being part of something bigger contributes to the strength and longevity of these friendships. It’s a beautiful aspect of Korean culture that emphasizes the power of human connection and the importance of community. Building this kind of bond is a rewarding experience that enriches your life immeasurably.
The Essence of Jeong
| Element | Description |
|---|---|
| Emotional Attachment | A deep, often untranslatable, emotional bond. |
| Development | Grows over time through shared experiences and mutual support. |
| Manifestation | Consistent care, presence, and loyalty. |
| Outcome | Friends become like family; deep sense of belonging. |
Overcoming Hesitations and Fostering Mutual Growth
It's natural to feel a bit hesitant or concerned about being a "burden" on someone's English skills. However, remember that most people, especially younger Koreans with exposure to English, are often excited by the prospect of practicing their language abilities with native speakers. Your willingness to try Korean phrases and show genuine interest in their culture can mitigate any perceived burden. Think of it as a balanced exchange; you offer practice in English and insights into your culture, while they offer practice in Korean and a window into theirs. This reciprocal dynamic is key to making the interaction feel natural and beneficial for both parties.
One of the most effective ways to foster mutual growth is to embrace vulnerability. Don't be afraid to admit when you don't understand something or when you make a mistake in Korean. Most people are patient and forgiving when they see you're making a genuine effort. In fact, these moments of misunderstanding can often lead to humorous and bonding experiences. For example, if you mispronounce a word, your friend might laugh and gently correct you, creating a lighthearted interaction that strengthens your connection. This openness also encourages them to be more comfortable practicing their English with you, knowing that you understand the challenges of language learning.
Focusing on shared activities can also significantly reduce the pressure of constant conversation. Engaging in an activity like watching a movie, playing a game, or going for a walk provides built-in interaction points. You can comment on the movie's plot, discuss game strategies, or simply enjoy the scenery together. These shared experiences build rapport and create opportunities for conversation to flow more naturally, interspersed with moments of comfortable silence. When language barriers arise during these activities, they can be overcome with simple gestures, shared laughter, or by utilizing translation apps for quick clarifications.
Ultimately, building meaningful friendships is about mutual respect, genuine interest, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone. The Korean language and culture offer a rich tapestry of experiences, and connecting with Koreans can be incredibly rewarding. By approaching potential friendships with an open heart and mind, and by embracing the opportunities for cultural and linguistic exchange, you can forge lasting bonds that transcend language differences and enrich your life. The most important thing is to be authentic and to enjoy the process of getting to know someone new.
Strategies for Comfortable Interaction
| Approach | Benefit |
|---|---|
| Embrace Reciprocity | View language exchange as a balanced benefit, not a burden. |
| Be Open About Mistakes | Admitting errors fosters comfort and encourages correction. |
| Engage in Shared Activities | Activities provide natural interaction points and reduce conversational pressure. |
| Utilize Non-Verbal Cues | Gestures and expressions can bridge language gaps effectively. |
| Show Genuine Interest | Authentic curiosity about their culture and life is key to connection. |
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q1. How can I start a conversation with a Korean person if I don't speak much Korean and they might not speak much English?
A1. Start with a friendly greeting like "안녕하세요" (Annyeonghaseyo) and a smile. You can then point to yourself and say your name, and gesture to them to introduce themselves. Using simple gestures, showing pictures on your phone, or using a translation app can help bridge immediate communication gaps. Common interests like food or hobbies are great starting points.
Q2. Is it considered rude to use translation apps when talking to Korean friends?
A2. Generally, it is not considered rude, especially in the early stages of friendship or when discussing complex topics. It shows you're making an effort to communicate. However, try to use it sparingly for quick clarifications rather than relying on it for entire conversations. It's polite to ask if they mind you using it.
Q3. What if I accidentally offend someone with my Korean language or cultural mistakes?
A3. Koreans are generally understanding of foreigners making mistakes, especially if you show genuine effort and respect. If you realize you've made a mistake, a sincere apology like "죄송합니다" (Joesonghamnida - I am sorry) is usually sufficient. Most people appreciate your efforts to learn and adapt.
Q4. How can I show I'm interested in their culture without seeming like I only care about K-pop or K-dramas?
A4. While K-pop and K-dramas are great entry points, show interest in other aspects of Korean culture such as food, history, traditions, art, or societal issues. Ask about their personal experiences and perspectives. This demonstrates a more rounded and deeper appreciation for Korea and its people.
Q5. Is it better to focus on learning Korean first or try to make friends while I'm still a beginner?
A5. You can do both simultaneously! Making friends while learning provides excellent practice and motivation. Don't wait until you're fluent; start making connections now. The interactions will naturally improve your Korean skills, and your growing Korean skills will deepen your friendships.
Q6. How long does it typically take to develop "Jeong" with someone?
A6. Jeong develops over time and varies greatly depending on the individuals and the depth of their interactions. There's no set timeline, but it often involves shared experiences, mutual support through challenges, and consistent communication over months or even years. It's a gradual process.
Q7. Should I offer to help them practice English if they help me with Korean?
A7. Absolutely! This is the core of a language exchange. Be proactive in offering to help them with English, just as they help you with Korean. This ensures the exchange is balanced and mutually beneficial, strengthening both your language skills and your friendship.
Q8. What are some common Korean phrases for expressing gratitude or appreciation?
A8. Key phrases include "감사합니다" (Gamsahamnida - Thank you, formal), "고마워요" (Gomawoyo - Thank you, polite informal), and "고마워" (Gomawo - Thanks, informal). For deeper appreciation, you can say "정말 고마워요" (Jeongmal gomawoyo - Thank you very much).
Q9. How important is age and hierarchy when first meeting someone in Korea?
A9. Age and hierarchy are quite important in Korean society. It's polite to use slightly more formal language and show respect when speaking to someone older or in a senior position, especially during initial meetings. This can involve using specific honorifics or verb endings.
Q10. Are there any specific etiquette rules for visiting a Korean person's home?
A10. Yes, it's customary to remove your shoes before entering the house. Bringing a small gift, like fruit or snacks, is a thoughtful gesture. Be mindful of personal space and avoid sitting on the floor unless invited to do so. Always accept offered food or drinks as a sign of politeness.
Q11. What if my Korean friend primarily speaks Korean, and I struggle to keep up?
A11. Communicate your limitations openly and kindly. You can say "죄송해요, 잘 이해하지 못했어요. 다시 말씀해주시겠어요?" (Joesonghaeyo, jal ihaehaji mothaesseoyo. Dasi malsseumhaejusigesseoyo? - I'm sorry, I didn't understand well. Could you please repeat that?). Suggest switching to English for a bit, or using simpler Korean words.
Q12. How can I find Korean friends interested in hobbies similar to mine?
A12. Join online communities (like Reddit or Facebook groups) related to your hobby in Korea. Look for local clubs or classes in Korea if you are there, or online events that cater to international participants. Websites like Meetup can also list hobby groups.
Q13. What is the best way to initiate a language exchange conversation?
A13. Start by introducing yourself and stating your interest in language exchange. You could say, "저는 한국어를 배우고 싶고, 당신은 영어를 배우고 싶다고 들었어요. 언어 교환을 할까요?" (Jeoneun hangugeoreul baeugo sipgo, dangsineun yeongeoreul baeugo sipdago deureosseoyo. Eoneo gyohwaneul halkkayo? - I want to learn Korean, and I heard you want to learn English. Shall we do a language exchange?).
Q14. Are there cultural differences in how friendships are maintained in Korea compared to Western cultures?
A14. Yes, Korean friendships can be characterized by a deeper sense of loyalty and mutual reliance (Jeong). There's often a greater emphasis on group harmony and collective activities, and friendships can develop into familial-like bonds over time, which might be less common in more individualistic Western friendship models.
Q15. What are some common pitfalls to avoid when trying to make Korean friends?
A15. Avoid making assumptions that everyone is interested only in K-pop or K-dramas. Don't be overly pushy or demanding of their time or English skills. Be mindful of hierarchy and showing respect, especially to elders. Avoid being overly direct with refusals or criticisms to maintain harmony.
Q16. How can I be a good language exchange partner for a Korean friend?
A16. Be punctual, patient, and prepared. Offer constructive feedback on their English and be genuinely interested in their Korean. Allocate time for both languages during your sessions. Also, be willing to share your own culture and interests.
Q17. What does it mean when Koreans say someone is like "family"?
A17. When Koreans describe friends as "like family," it signifies a very deep, trustworthy, and enduring bond. It implies a level of care, mutual support, and emotional closeness that goes beyond typical friendships, akin to the bonds within a biological family.
Q18. How can I express genuine interest in Korean food and dining etiquette?
A18. Show enthusiasm for trying different Korean dishes. When dining, follow your friend's lead on etiquette, such as using chopsticks and spoons correctly, and waiting for elders to start eating. Expressing appreciation for the meal is always well-received.
Q19. What are some effective ways to practice Korean daily outside of formal lessons?
A19. Label items in your home with Korean words, listen to Korean music or podcasts, watch Korean dramas with Korean subtitles, try cooking Korean recipes, and use language exchange apps to chat with native speakers daily. Even short, consistent practice makes a difference.
Q20. How can I navigate social gatherings where most people speak only Korean?
A20. Stick close to any friends you have there who can translate or help you join conversations. Smile, nod, and show engagement even if you don't understand everything. Ask simple questions if possible, or focus on observing and enjoying the atmosphere. Don't be afraid to politely excuse yourself if you feel overwhelmed.
Q21. Is it okay to ask for recommendations on Korean culture or places to visit?
A21. Yes, absolutely! Asking for recommendations is a great way to show interest and to get personalized advice. It opens up opportunities for your friends to share their knowledge and experiences, which can lead to deeper conversations and shared activities.
Q22. What should I do if I feel shy or awkward initiating contact?
A22. Start small. Use online platforms where you can take your time to craft messages. Join group activities where the focus isn't solely on one-on-one conversation. Remind yourself that most people are friendly and appreciate your effort, and your Korean friends are likely just as curious about you.
Q23. How important is non-verbal communication in Korean culture?
A23. Non-verbal communication is very important. Gestures, facial expressions, and body language convey a lot of meaning. For example, bowing is a key non-verbal greeting, and the way you receive or give items (often with both hands) shows respect. Observing these cues can help you navigate social situations more effectively.
Q24. What if my friend is very shy about their English?
A24. Be extra patient and encouraging. Offer positive reinforcement for their English efforts. Suggest activities that are less language-intensive, or use a mix of languages. Let them know that you value their effort and that you're happy to communicate in whatever way is most comfortable for both of you.
Q25. How can I be respectful when discussing sensitive topics or differences in opinion?
A25. Be mindful of Korean cultural values like harmony and saving face. Avoid direct confrontation or overly critical statements. Listen actively to their perspective, acknowledge it respectfully, and express your own views calmly and thoughtfully. Focus on understanding rather than winning an argument.
Q26. What's the best way to celebrate a Korean friend's birthday?
A26. A common practice is to have a birthday meal with friends and family. Consider giving a gift, often something practical or thoughtful. Singing "Happy Birthday" in Korean ("생일 축하합니다" - Saengil chukahamnida) is a nice touch. Understanding their family dynamics can help tailor the celebration.
Q27. Can making Korean friends lead to better understanding of the country's current affairs or social trends?
A27. Absolutely. Friends often share their perspectives on current events and societal changes. This provides an invaluable, firsthand insight into how Koreans perceive their own country, which is far richer and more nuanced than any news report.
Q28. How can I show genuine appreciation for Korean culture beyond superficial engagement?
A28. Engage with diverse aspects of the culture, learn about its history and values, respect social customs, and make an effort to speak the language. Show curiosity about their everyday lives and perspectives, not just the popular exports like K-pop or dramas.
Q29. What if my Korean friend invites me to their home and I don't know what to bring?
A29. Small, thoughtful gifts are appreciated. Common choices include fruits, pastries, good quality coffee or tea, or perhaps a small local treat from your own region. It's the gesture of bringing something that matters most.
Q30. How can I maintain a friendship if we live in different countries?
A30. Stay in regular contact through messaging apps, video calls, and social media. Plan visits if possible. Continue to practice the language and show interest in each other's lives. Consistency and genuine effort are key to overcoming geographical distance in any friendship.
Disclaimer
This article is written for general information purposes and cannot replace professional advice. While efforts have been made to ensure accuracy, cultural nuances and individual experiences may vary.
Summary
Making Korean friends without feeling like a burden involves understanding cultural etiquette, leveraging shared interests and technology, showing genuine effort in language learning, and embracing the concept of Jeong. By focusing on reciprocal exchange and mutual respect, authentic and lasting friendships can be forged across language barriers.
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